At the end of July I realized I needed a moment to rejuvenate, to have something to look forward to, and to have some support around me. We had been traveling this road for five months…alone, quietly, in stillness. As much as I wanted to be there and not leave Travis for several days, I knew I needed a trip. My mind, body, and soul needed reprieve. I had booked a flight for a training scheduled during COVID, and the training had been moved online so I had the airfare credit remaining. The credit was going to expire in a few weeks, and who lets airfare credits expire?!
With my best friend from childhood and a dear, kindred colleague residing in the Denver area I had my sights set on a mountain escape the last week in August. I wrestled with this destination because the lead FBI agent on Travis’s case was from the Denver office. Should I avoid the area? Would I be pulled into secondary at the airport’s security because of my travel destination? Would they try to contrive my leisurely trip to be one of more threatening intentions. Such irrationality, yet the stark reality of enduring the situation we had been through to date.
Returning to my empowerment and determined to overcome every single way this experience created lack and limitation in mindset and life, I booked the trip. I promised Travis I would be available by phone as much as I could be knowing some of the mountain adventures would have limited service. My colleague-best friend-business partner-soul sister, SammiJo, who had been providing us with holistic healing (as well as love, compassion, encouragement, understanding, and all the things money can’t buy) made herself available to ensure Travis would not be without support while I was away. My brother made plans to spend Saturday in town watching football, and I was feeling relieved for the opportunity to be self-indulgent. This was my first solo trip that wasn’t business related in over five years, and the first trip since we had traveled to Utah in September of ’21 when we got engaged.
My experience at the airport was flawless both leaving and returning. TSA pre-check was the same experience it had always been, and contact with staff was kind, respectful, and inconsequential. It was actually the least eventful aspect of the trip as the five days I spent away from home were action packed. This is when the probation recommendation to the court was made, Travis’s attorney’s motion to the court for a downward variance to probation was made, and the prosecution’s motion for the full sentence of 24 month months incarceration was submitted.
This trip was riding the waves of ups and downs while I was hours away. The support I could provide looked much different than it had the past several months when I was home. Little did I know at the time this would be a precursor for what life was about to become. We were making our way through it, being disciplined in our mindset, and compassionate in our love. I was grateful that even though these events were stressful and anxiety invoking for Travis he was fully supportive of my time away.
And then I received a call on September 2nd with Travis in shear panic, blindsided again, and in yet another traumatic situation. He received a letter in the mail from his bank, US Bank. They were closing the account he had held there for over 20 years, and he had two weeks to collect or transfer his funds or they would mail him a check. They did not provide a reason for this action, although it really only took one guess to know the impetus for this service cancellation.
Travis called the bank in an attempt to gain more understanding and reasoning for what was going on but did not receive any. They reserved the right to terminate business with anyone at any time, no reason necessary. This was unusual for a nonfinancial crime, yet here we were. Most everything with this case had been unusual and far outside the norm.
The only solace I could provide him from afar was my confidence that we would find another bank. It might require utilizing a regional or small bank. It might require going back to my hometown where people know one another and care about one another, but we would find another bank.
We didn’t know it in September, but this was just the tip of the iceberg. He would experience cancellations three months in a row. In October, he received an email from his broker notifying him his investment/retirement accounts would be liquidated and closed. His broker was kind, compassionate, and speechless about the situation. In his entire career, the broker had never witnessed this happening to anyone before.
The process for closing the account was a bit unusual as well. Travis had to speak with someone at the corporate office during the process—what I would explain as an exit interview of sorts– and his broker participated in the three-way call. The corporate representative asked Travis why he was choosing to close his account. His broker actually stepped in to clarify the “confusion”. Travis wasn’t making this choice; the choice had been made for him. The firm was closing his account. What do you mean why is Travis choosing to do this?!
While these cancellations were blindsiding, at least he had received notice of these two closures. The third cancellation was not so kind. In November, Travis made a routine trip to the grocery store to purchase peanut butter. Probably something many of us take for granted: a store run for a few items, a flawless transaction, and food to eat. He came home in alarm with no peanut butter. His card had been declined. He called VISA to see if there was a malfunction in the system. Ironically at the time he called, their computer systems were down so they could not give him any information. Perhaps it was part of this tech glitch, perhaps it wasn’t.
He would find out the next day it was not. They too closed his account, without notification, without reason. He attempted to get more information over the phone, but they did not provide any. It was the same story; they reserved the right to close anyone’s account at any time. For me personally, this was straw that broke the camel’s back. While I had made quick recoveries from the trauma and stress prior to this, this moment crossed my threshold for what I could endure and bounce back from quickly. I’ll share more about my perspective and experience in the future.
Here was the new reality of Travis’s life: he was now a felon, fired from his job, unable to find employment, unable to access any line of credit via credit cards, unable to secure any loans from a bank. His personal ecosystem had been entirely demolished. And with the bank account closure happening prior to his sentencing which relied upon terms within a plea agreement which required him to never deny guilt, he sat silently. Not speaking out against it or about it. Not asking for help. Not having any additional support. What would your life look like if your bank, investment, retirement, and credit cards were all closed? It’s hard to even imagine as these services seem to be a birthright.
Our focus shifted entirely to sentencing. We were as ready as we were ever going to be for the day to arrive, to receive a sentence to probation, to enable him to return to work, to fall into the rhythm of what would be our new normal, to have freedom from at least some of the pressures which seemed crushing.
Lessons learned: Most things we had labeled or judged to be a problem in life or our relationship really had not been. Rather, we had grown unaware of the things in life we had taken for granted; lulled to sleep by everyday modern conveniences. Each day I had peace, life, breath, and love were days I was incredibly rich and didn’t even know it. Until now. My definition of wealth, security, and problem is forever changed in a freeing and liberating way!
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Peace & Love,
Janessa