Do As I Say

It was the very next day, June 2nd.  I was minding my own business completing another day’s work for the government and my business when my phone rang.  Caller ID:  FBI.  Was it really them, would they call from a number with caller ID because their previous calls had not registered on caller ID?  Was it a scam?

I immediately began trembling.  I could not breathe.  Trauma, panic, fear.

I attempted to answer the call but because of some tech glitch which was likely a gift from God the call didn’t connect.  When the voicemail registered on my phone about 10 minutes later, it was from the lead agent on the case (the same lead agent who was no longer working the case).  At the time I was driving and had a full on panic attack.  If cars had been anywhere on the road around me, I would have gotten in an accident.

I had diligently spent the past 3 ½ months regulating my nervous system, processing the trauma from February when the FBI showed up at my home, doing my best to reclaim my ability to sleep at night, and while I thought I was so close to having all of the trauma behind me it only took one phone call to trigger it all again.

What did they want?  Should I call them back?  Ignore them?  Obtain an attorney and have an attorney contact them?  Was I now a suspect?  It’s really impressive the rate at which the mind can race.

I spoke to Travis’s attorney who advised it would be a conflict in interest for him to represent both of us so if I wanted an attorney I would need to hire someone else.  He also suggested, given my experience and knowledge with the system and with no indication I was a suspect, it would be prudent to return the call.  He didn’t say it, but knowing what we know now the FBI was not going to go away.  Ignoring it wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

It was a couple hours later when I was home and able to call the agent back.  Rapport with this agent had never been established if we’re being honest and every contact with them had reinforced that reality even further.  I wasn’t excited for another conversation with this individual.

When we connected, the FBI agent indicated I was being served a subpoena and being called as a witness for the prosecution at Grand Jury on 6/13 for the purposes of indicting Travis on the charges if he did not enter into a plea agreement.  You have got to be kidding me!  I just wanted to be left alone, but that was not going to be an option.  The prosecutor would be in Lincoln and would like to meet with me on 6/9 or 6/10 to prepare me for that testimony.  This preparation was not mandatory but showing up in court on 6/13 was.

I was speechless.  Literally.   There was a long awkward pause on the phone before the agent moved toward means of empathy to try to move the conversation forward.  I wasn’t saying a word.  There were no words.  Yet another factor in this case that would be completely inconceivable to me.

When the agent asked how I’d like the subpoena sent, I indicated texting it over would be great.  They pushed to have it emailed instead.  I politely indicated they had asked for how I preferred to receive the subpoena and my preference was text.  If they could not honor that preference, then we could discuss other options.  The agent conceded they could text the document and would send it over right away.

Before we got off the call, the agent asked which day I would be able to meet with the prosecutor as though it was implied I would.  Remember, this was not mandatory, I have had years of experience testifying in court with past jobs, I had nothing to lie about or hide, I didn’t feel it was necessary to be prepped as a witness, and I certainly wasn’t going to make that decision in the moment where I was literally left dumbfounded and speechless that they would need me as a character witness for a tech crime which should have more than sufficient evidence to indict him from the forensic analysis of his phone.  This told me their case was not a slam dunk, and this was their attempt to fill some gaps in the evidence; likely gaps created by the other four devices that certainly were not Travis’s.

I told the agent I would consider meeting with the prosecutor on 6/9 and 6/10 and would sleep on it.  I was not making the decision now.  We ended the call.

The subpoena wasn’t actually supported by my cell phone so I could not access it, but the message accompanied with the subpoena from the agent was: “Also once you have had a chance to digest, please let me know when on 6/9 or 6/10 might be a good time meet.  Thanks.” 

It seemed as though this meeting with the prosecutor was more of a necessity to them then it was to me, especially with the level of expectation they were impressing upon me to show up for it.  It really seemed there was a staunch approach with the FBI to do as I say, disregarding my rights and privileges as a witness to only show up to court.

The next day I received the subpoena via email and decided I would meet with them, not for their sake or mine but for the sake of truth and justice.  The prosecutor and two FBI agents called me that day to discuss the details of 6/9 or 6/10 and to answer any of the questions I had about Grand Jury.  We settled to meet on 6/9 at 2:30 pm.  It didn’t matter that on 6/13 I was to be providing care to my family who lived 3 hours away.  When the courts schedule something your life must be juggled to accommodate it.

I had decided I would review all of the evidence available to me before going to the witness interview on 6/9.  While Travis and my relationship was not perfect, one of its incredibly redeeming qualities was it had been built on honesty.  Even though I didn’t think he was lying to me, I still couldn’t fully wrap my head around the FBI bringing a case against him that was questionable.  I needed to see it all to understand.  I needed to see it all to be a good witness.  Even if this was a family member, I had not lost my desire or value of protecting the community and safeguarding the country.

Seeing the evidence was going to be eye opening for me indeed.  In ways I never expected…

Lesson learned:   You have rights!  Know them, understand how to exercise them, and do so in a way that aligns with you, but please do so with love, authenticity, and kindness.  Love, authenticity, and kindness never get old.

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Peace & Love,

Janessa