Hello there! Lets start this week off with a little riddle. What do you call a pig that does karate? (Scroll to the end for the answer.)
Pigs are cute but have absolutely nothing to do with this week’s topic. Unless the pig is giving it’s very best effort at karate. As I mentioned last week, my current topics are from the blog I posted about the 37 nuggets I’ve learned thus far in life. Giving it your all (because it’s free) seems pretty simple, but after posting the original blog I was asked if giving your all was indeed truly free. I personally believe it is. Let me share a story to illustrate my thoughts.
A very intelligent friend by the name of Tia Khrasher shared a story from her youth with me. It has stuck with me molding my own expectations and actions. Back in high school, 10th grade to be exact, she had taken a science test and had not received the grade she had expected or knew she was capable of scoring, a C+ to be exact. I think we can all relate to this somewhere along the way. For me it was my junior year of college on the final exam for Abnormal Psychology where I received the lowest grade I’d ever scored in my educational pursuit (D to be exact), and I thought my life as I knew it was over. Thankfully it was just dramatics getting the best of me, and my life has continued on in a glorious fashion. I’m happy to report Tia’s test score did not cause her to question her will to live. She did have a serious chat with her mom though. While I expected Tia to disclose her mom had insisted she could and should do better the next time, her mom gave her much different feedback. Her mom merely asked her if she had given her all to prepare for the test. Tia knew she had not thus effectively learning the natural consequences of a lackluster display of effort. Knowing you can do better is often accompanied with self assigned shame which is a crummy feeling. Thus making it a powerful intrinsic motivator.
Our culture is conditioned to be consumers. We hold the belief we are not doing our best on any given pursuit until we have taken all the classes, bought all the gadgets, obtained all of the resources, and utilized all of the tools. While it’s helpful to have ways to expand our skills, skill and effort are fundamentally two separate things. I believe in any given situation we are the only ones who can determine what best effort or giving it our all looks like. We can do the very best we have to give regardless of whether we have taken all the classes, bought all the gadgets, obtained all the resources, and utilized all of the tools because effort comes from within and is not something external that can be purchased.
Poetically my friendship with Tia blossomed by sharing space with her in the fitness world. This is an area I have pushed myself quite diligently in the past to be competitive with others. Tia’s account of her coming to know and understand best effort not only changed my perspective on effort but also on competition. I realized my goal should not be to get ahead of the person beside me but to instead pour everything I have to give into what it is I’m trying to achieve. This shifts the mentality from being the best to doing your best. It also affords much deeper level of self acceptance. Lets be real, I will never beat Joyciline Jepkosgei’s half marathon time of 64:51 (that’s a lightning pace of under 5 min/mi splits) or Florence Griffith Joyner’s 100 meter sprint time of 10:49 seconds. By knowing I am giving it my all I am content, fulfilled, and at peace with any outcome. (These principles are applicable to any task you take on and not just athletic endeavors.) This is especially impactful on the off days. We all have them and best effort looks different when you didn’t get a full night’s sleep, are under the weather, or when you just can’t focus no matter how hard you try. Instead of feeling horribly because your performance wasn’t what you wanted it to be, there is resolve in knowing you gave it your all. Plus tomorrow is a new opportunity to perform as you anticipate you can.
One final thought on giving it your all: Giving your all is not synonymous with doing it all. My father tried really hard to teach me this as a child. He encouraged me to choose two sports, spend more of my time refining the specific skill set needed, and excelling and achieving more in those two endeavors. Being the youthful, whipper snapper, ball of fury I was I just could not fathom trimming my four sport routine down to two. It took me until a year ago to understand the lesson he had tried so hard to reason with me about all those years ago, 22 to be exact. Last year I was preparing to launch Fiercely Radiant Soul, obtain my certification, learn all I needed to know about operating a business, maintain my full time job, maintain my health, put forth my all into my relationships and family, etc etc. The more I piled on my plate the more diluted and fragmented ‘giving it my all’ became. Before I knew it I was giving half effort to most things I was doing because I didn’t have space to give my full effort as I otherwise would have. As I continued piling more and more on my plate I failed to remove anything else. It was a huge disservice to everything I was trying to achieve all at the same time. For the first time ever I took some things I felt were really valuable off my plate. In that moment it didn’t feel like giving it my all. In fact, it felt like quitting. However, as time passed and my focus was refined to my top priorities I was able to learn the difference between doing it all vs giving it my all.
May your week be filled with the merriment and bliss of a job well done on whatever tasks you undertake! As for the karate chopping piglet in the opening riddle, the answer is pork chop. Thanks for stopping by!
Peace & Love,
Janessa