Adulting

Hey there! I’m curious…when you were a kid did you dream of being an adult? Did you even yearn and long to have it happen as quickly as possible so you could stay up late, eat whatever you wanted, make all the rules (or have no rules at all), and do all of the things and stuff without ever having to hear the dreadful word of “no” from your parents? Turns out, once we become adults we spend the majority of our lives here. Is your adulthood everything you ever wanted it to be? If not, what do you desire in order to fulfill your vision of having “made it” as an adult?

We grow through several different phases, infant, toddler, preschooler, school age, and adolescent, before reaching adulthood. There are four stages of adult development as well. I will be discussing them as presented by Dr. Wayne Dyer who paralleled theses stages from Dr. Carl Jung’s archetypes. Unlike the childhood phases, the adult stages do not exist solely on a continuum. After growing into the later stages of adulthood we can still revert back or vacillate between the different adult phases.

1. The Athlete.  While the word athlete has a mental association with sports, here it is used to depict the time in our adult lives when our primary identification is with our physical body and how it functions in our everyday world.  During this time we measure our worth and happiness by our appearance, abilities, performance, attractiveness, and achievements.  Due to the consumerism within our society, appearance also extends to materialism with the cars, houses, and clothes we own.  
2. The Warrior.  During this stage ego dictates our lives as we focus on demonstrating our superiority.  Ego is defined as our sense of self, or “I”.  It sets us apart from others and resides within our conscious mind.  It is the ego which views the world with beliefs such as “If I don’t get mine, someone else will.”  This is exuded during the warrior phase with focus on goals and achievements through competition with others for  job promotions, accolades, and awards.  The warrior stage keeps record of its achievements with awards, trophies, medals, titles, money, and the accumulation of material possessions.  
3. The Statesperson.  In this stage we move beyond the ego, the focus of self, to the awareness and importance of others.  This stage shifts our focus to service and gratitude for all the experiences which show up in our life.  Rather than being driven by the desire to be the most powerful and attractive or to dominate and conquer, you have entered the realm of inner peace.  There is no longer the need to achieve and accomplish by getting or gaining.  Instead we are fulfilled by giving rather than getting through serving others.  This shows up even in the workplace by shifting sole focus from your own tasks to functioning under the belief that when you support your peers in reaching their goals it benefits your peers, the company who employs you, and all who your company services.  In turn, giving unto others creates contentment in yourself.
4. The Spirit.  The spirit stage of life is characterized by an awareness of being a spiritual being having a human experience rather than a human being having a spiritual experience.  This allows us to cast fears aside as well as become detached to physical possessions.  You become aware of the inner infinite energy inside you and also come to know this energy is in all things and all people.  If you tune into this energy you leave the limitations of the earth plane and are able to create and attract whatever it is you want or need.    

Can you identify which stage you spend the most time? Dr. Dyer believed those who spent the majority of their time in the first or second stage would not be able to manifest what they desired in their life. I can attest from the people I have met in my lifetime, those who spend most of their time in spirit and statesperson are happier, more content, have greater peace in their lives, and life appears to come naturally and easily for them. I recognize when reflecting on my own journey, I had a much lower level of self satisfaction when I was chasing achievements and awards or when I was heavily focused on my physique and appearance. If you find yourself being limited in life and unable to break beyond barriers you feel have been holding you back for a long time, examining your adult stages may help you move forward. If you’re uncertain about how to obtain balance between your spiritual, physical, mental and emotional well being, I encourage adding energy psychology tools and practices into your daily lives! Thanks for stopping by!

Peace & Love,

Janessa