Queue Lady Gaga here:
I was born this way hey
I was born this way hey
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way hey
If you happen to end up singing it in your head all day now, you’re welcome! This catchy tune has a great message, and I definitely support her theme of equality and acceptance.
From a personal development standpoint there is one phrase I love even more than I was born this way… and it is I used to be that way! I used to lack joy, be extremely impatient, and not be very forgiving which manifested through self depreciating and self harming behaviors.
How do you go from the standpoint of having these traits which make life more complicated and uncomfortable for you (insert the perplexed emoji who has its hands held up here) to a position of empowerment where you can transform even those things you long believed to be impossible?
The Enneagram is a very powerful place to start! The enneagram system is one of the oldest personality typing systems. It uses nine different, but inter-connecting, personality structures for identifying how we relate to self, others, and the world. The different types are simply labeled by the numbers one through nine. When I first heard a group of people, who were well educated on the enneagram, discussing it I found it to be a bit off-putting. It seemed to come with it’s own language and resulted in everyone wearing a label.
However, the more I learned about the system the easier my interactions with others became. I was quickly able to identify when I was interacting with an eight and could easily shift into their direct and blunt approach of tackling and discussing things. I was able to have more patience (yes, me… patient!) when speaking with a two who has been upset and frustrated for years about never having enough balance in their life. This is natural for twos as their personality structure causes them to put everyone else’s needs before their own. Another fantastic side effect was not taking things personally anymore! Even better yet I have been able to transform many of my weaknesses which allows me to capitalize on my personality strengths. Needless to say, I quickly got over the unsettling first impression of the enneagram once I discovered how valuable the knowledge was to every day life with other humans. Especially since other humans fill my life every day.
This blog could get really long very quickly if I tried to explain the intricacies of the system. In brief, I will say it is complex, and I have found great value in continuing to learn more and more about the details of how it fits together (there are wings, arrows, healthy types, non-healthy types, strengths, weaknesses, subtypes, and how the different types’ characteristics affect relationships, business/career, marriage, etc). Instead of getting into everything and writing a novel (seriously there are so many books out there about the enneagram I’m not writing my own), I am going to introduce you to the nine different types and leave links to some resources I really love. If you feel the desire or intrigue to begin additional research I strongly encourage you to utilize the links below.
THE TYPES (exactly as described by the Enneagram Institute)
- The Reformer– The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic (If you’re reading this and know me well, you might be thinking to yourself ‘hmmmmm this really sounds like Janessa.’ You’re not wrong.)
- The Helper– The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
- The Achiever– The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven and Image-Conscious
- The Individualist– The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
- The Investigator– The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
- The Loyalist– The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious
- The Enthusiast– The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered
- The Challenger– The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
- The Peacemaker– The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
Do any of those titles seem to resonate? It can be easy to misidentify with a type since we do take on characteristics from the types closest to us. I really encourage you to take an enneagram test to gain more accurate insight into yourself and those around you. (Better yet, if you use muscle testing, muscle test to see where your being centers on the enneagram.) Discovering my father and I have the same personality type is no surprise to anyone who knows both of us. I learned my best friend, mom, and significant other all have the same personality structure (7). Luckily, I take on seven’s positive attributes in growth so I relate to many of their characteristics naturally.
If I’ve piqued your interest enough to take the test, next I suggest reading about yours and other’s type descriptions. The descriptions on this site allows you to identify where you are in the level of development with your type as well.
You can identify the strengths and weaknesses you and your significant other face reading about the enneatype combinations.
I saved my most favorite resource for last! If you sign up for the Enneathought for the Day you can receive daily emails specifically tailored for the type you sign up to receive. Sometimes the messages are thought provoking. For instance, one recent message shared Ones often take on adult responsibilities at a young age and suggested reflecting on how this factor affects us now as adults. Wait, this is part of my personality? I had written this off to growing up on a farm where responsibility was introduced at a young age by doing daily chores. NOPE! Other days the messages are just lighthearted reminders for instance: Ones can be very critical which is hurtful to other types. Don’t be a dick today. (No, this message was not verbatim.)
In closing, as you are researching your personality and discover weaknesses you want to drop like a hot potato please contact me. HBLU contains a process for transforming your personality to your true essence. This process is like buying an airline ticket to I-used-to-be-that-way-ville rather than taking a long, grueling hike there. Are you now questioning what your true essence is? Just listen to your inner voice’s promptings. Thanks for stopping by!
Peace & Love,
Janessa