Life is filled with beginnings and endings. Some of those are blazingly obvious like graduation, a wedding, or the end of a pregnancy.
The less than obvious chapter changes are the ones that keep clients up at night as they wrestle with the question: is termination or continuation the most appropriate in this situation? This commonly arises with careers and relationships. Are you lingering by staying longer when you know the circumstance is complete for you, or are you able to pivot within the situation and build something even greater?
Leading in self-love will direct your path, but this often feels ambiguous and intangible. What do you mean self-love? I do love myself! How is the love of myself going to impact anyone else around me?
It. Just. Does.
A simple example… I was at a meet up group a couple weeks ago, and I was complete with the experience before the meeting ended. I did something completely unprecedented for myself…I got up and walked out. This might be something that would be easy for you, but it isn’t for me.
Old me would have over-committed, over-stayed, LINGERED in the meeting, and spent the rest of my day rushing to do all the other things I wanted to do that day.
Old me would have stayed to be a good girl, to show respect, to not rebel, and to do what was the group norm.
Old me would have cared what others thought and said about me, and to prevent any negative judgements I would have stayed firmly planted in my seat until the meeting completed.
New me is more concerned about what I think and feel about myself, that I honor myself while honoring others, and that I spend my time and energy in a way that adds value to my life and the life of others.
There’s one major thought process to interrupt in order to nail honoring your completion energy and discerning if it’s time for termination or continuation: Stop making yourself wrong and start making yourself right!
Had I chosen to make myself wrong for leaving the meeting I would have listened to the ‘old me’ narratives above. Instead, I honored that leaving was the right thing for me on that day in that moment, and I led with that energy. I didn’t meekly sneak out of the room, make excuses, or circle back to others in attendance to explain myself. When you lead with loving energy, it’s felt.
You make yourself wrong when you think it’s time to leave a toxic relationship but… you have kids together, you’ve invested years together, you don’t know how you’ll pay all the bills… and so you deny your inner knowing and do what’s logical while the lingering erodes the joy and life force from your soul.
You make yourself wrong when you know your job or career is no longer fulfilling but… you’re loyal and don’t want to leave, it’s a great company who you believe in even if they aren’t paying you the value that you bring to the table, or the current routine supports your family so you should just sacrifice out of convenience’s sake.
The really mystical thing about self-love is that when you love yourself first, often times that relationship you thought would need to end or the career that is under paying you will pivot without termination. Instead, you’re able to convey and receive what you need from your partner, or you’re able to articulate your value and negotiate a pay raise.
Apply it to your life: In the situations that overwhelm you or cause irritation explore how you can love yourself more in that area of life. If you had what you desired, how would you treat yourself differently? Then reverse engineer and begin to treat yourself that way NOW.
The 1% shifts you make internal have a 10% impact on your external world. If you’re ready to lead with self-love, to put yourself first knowing it’s going to serve your family and friends too, to live an empowered life where you create the change you want to see in your world, and to have a community of like-minded, soul-led humans around you, I extend a warm invitation to Stronger Together. A space where you will be guided, supported, and celebrated in who you were, who you are, and who you are becoming!
Peace & Love,
Janessa
P.S. Spots are also available for individual healing and coaching services. Grab your free Discovery Session to learn more!
Well written post: Recognizing when it’s time to walk away from a situation, whether it’s a job or anything else, is a significant step towards self-care and personal growth. It takes courage to acknowledge that a toxic environment is taking a toll on your well-being, and even more courage to take action to change it.
I had a job that was making me depressed and angry. I tried to stick it out and sticking it out for the wrong reasons is something many of us can relate to. Whether it’s financial stability, fear of the unknown, or societal pressure, there are various factors that can keep many of us tethered to situations that no longer serve us.
But the fact that I eventually recognized the toxicity of the job I was in and made the decision to leave spoke volumes to me about my strength and resilience. It’s wasn’t easy for me to walk away from that job, especially when it meant stepping into uncertainty. However, I had to prioritize my mental and emotional health and come to realize that it would be worth it in the long run. I’ve always had a belief that everything always works out for me and I had to pull that faith up inside of myself big time.
When I took the step to walk away from that horrible job, I had to remember to be kind to myself. I knew healing from the effects of a toxic environment takes time, so I had to give myself the space and patience I needed to recover. And as I moved forward, I had to trust in my ability to make choices that are in alignment with my well-being. Everyone deserves to thrive in a positive and supportive environment and eventually I found myself in just such and environment.